It can't have been 8 Months ?!?!?!

I just looked to my Blog, and saw that I hadn't posted since February. I knew I hadn't posted in a while, but 8 months, sheesh. I guess I am really a terrible slacker !! I hope the Twitter updated have been interesting.)

I have wanted to post something here several times in the past few months, but I never made the time to do it (much like exercising, eating right, etc.) I have an ongoing thread in my life where I don't prioritize things very well (at work, at home, getting healthy, etc.)

I always seem to work best under pressure and with a deadline looming. I am the typical procrastinator, I always wait until the last minute, and then have to cram a lot of work into a short period of time (writing college papers, cleaning the house before company comes over, or preparing for a visit from my boss, I wait until the last possible minute, and then stay up VERY late to get ready.)

There is one problem with continuing to do that, I am much older now (I am in my 40's for crying out loud.) and I can't burn the candle at both ends like I used to and stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning (except tonight of course.)

If I wait until the last minute to get healthy, I will never know what the deadline will be. My "wearning" may be too late, and I won't be able to any last minute healthy work. I heart attack (or worse) may be my only warning, and too late to do anything.

I hope I can change my mind set, so I will put things into proper perspective (making myself and my family the first priority !!) Stay tuned, I have made a few steps in the right direction, and I am going to try my darnedest to keep going !!

Rough Day at the Park

We went to the park as a family today. We wanted Bailey to get some more practice rider her bike with out training wheels. It was a beautiful day for it too, it was bright and sunny and in the mid 70s. I think everyone else had the same idea, because the park was very crowded.

So off Bailey went on her bike, after a big push from daddy. She made it almost the entire way around the track, when she crashed into someone. Bailey had ran into a teenage girl walking around the track. Bailey told her to watch out, because she is still having trouble with braking (she gets confused between the pedal brakes and the hand brakes.) She ended up clipping the teenager, with edge of her handle bar, and they both went down. Of course Mommy and Daddy were on the other side of the track so it took us a while to get to her.

Bailey came running towards us crying. When she got to us her said through her tears, she ran into a girl and fell down, and the girl called her "A STUPID BITCH !!" Can you imagine someone saying that to a 6 year old girl ?!?!?!? Mommy wanted to have a few words with this girl, but she took Bailey into the bathroom to clean up her cuts and scrapes.

After Bailey (and Mommy) had calmed down a bit, we found the girl Bailey ran into and made Bailey apologize to her for accidentally hitting her. The little snot said "Good, it hurt a lot." No apologizes for what she said I am afraid (I didn't want to call her out on it and have a scene in the middle of the park, and get Bailey all upset again.)

After all the drama (and trauma) Bailey decided she was done riding her bike today, and she wanted to go home. We felt very bad about the whole situation, and I hope and pray that this does not dampen her love of bike riding and exercising at the park.

P.S. and to top it all off the battery in my stupid Nike+ sensor died, so I have no idea how much walking I did today :-(

Three in a row

I have now exercised for three straight days (let's hope that a habit is being formed.) I walked around the neighborhood tonight. It was pretty cold, but that just means less sweating !! I walked a bit farther than I did yesterday on the treadmill, 0.86 miles. My knee didn't like the hills so much, especially going down hill, but it was bearable. The 800mg Ibuprofen the Dr. prescribed helped out too :-)

Since I am closing tomorrow, and the Gym closed at 5:00, I will rest tomorrow. I plan on walking even farther on Sunday, on top of taking down all of the outside Christmas Lights, so it should be a pretty good day.

2 for 2

We despite my Job's best effort to get me off track, I made it back to the Gym tonight. I had to work late (almost 10pm.) this evening to get caught up on some work. But I changed into my workout clothes as soon as the store closed, so I didn't have an excuse not to go.

I am building up my walking on the treadmill, I walked 3/4 of a mile (up from a 1/2 last night.) I also did 60 crunches and some leg work, to try and strengthen my knee.

The Peak Fitness in Harrisburg is no longer open 24 hours :-( They close at 11pm Monday through Friday, so I should still be able to make it after work when I am on the closing shift.

I plan on walking the neighborhood Friday and Saturday or Sunday (since the Gym will be closed.) So pray for no rain for the next three days !!

Found the Gym

After some extensive searching on Google Maps I found where the Gym is located ;-) and discovered that the will in fact let me come inside. It was very busy tonight (all the New Years resolution people.) I realized how out of shape I had gotten in the past two months. I walked a 1/2 mile on the treadmill at a pretty slow pace. I also did 40 crunches and 30 back extensions. I am going to gradually build myself back up to full workouts. It was nice to get back there, and making the time to go. I have all my work out gear ready to go for tomorrow, so I should be 2 for 2. Wish me luck !

My Heart was broken on Christmas

I had an eye opening moment today (Christmas Day.)

My daughter Bailey had just finished opening her Christmas presents, and we were relaxing watching the Walt Disney World Christmas parade on TV, and eating breakfast. Our "traditional" Christmas breakfast is Blueberry muffins and candy from our stockings.

We had opened a box of See's Candy, and I had enjoyed several pieces of chocolate. After eating a few of them Bailey walked upstairs to her room. I had assumed that she was going up there to play with some of her new toys. My wife called me upstairs a few minutes later. I went into Bailey's room and found her crying in Mommy's arms. I asked her what was wrong but she refused to tell me. Finally my wife told me what had upset Bailey.

She was upset that I had had eaten too much candy and that I would stay "Big" and keep getting bigger. She was afraid that people were going to make fun of me and my size. She was also afraid that my "Sugar" was going to get too high and make me sick. She was very very upset, and crying real tears.

Needless to say I was absolutely heartbroken when I heard this. I did not know what to say. I wanted to reassure her that everything was going to be fine, (but I couldn't, if I don't change, that will be a lie, and things won't be OK.) I gave her a huge hug, and thanked her for her love and concern. I wanted to cry so badly, but I wanted to be strong in front of Bailey and make her feel better. Now after I have reflected on it all day, and can sit here at the keyboard in my home office (and "privacy" of the the Internet) and let it all out.

I can't remember a time when I felt so bad as I did at that moment. I felt like the worst father in the world. Not only am I hurting myself with my eating and exercise habits, but look at what I am putting my Daughter through as well. My guilt is overwhelming. I am trying to figure out a way to turn this moment into something positive, but it is very difficult.

I am going to try and remember this feeling, and how I made Bailey feel today, when ever I am going to do something unhealthy. Maybe that will give me strength and help me not do the things that are killing me. Pray for me and my family, I will need all the help I can get !!

Bad Month/ Turning 40

Well I finally turned the big 4-0.

I do not care about Birthdays too much. I am not hung up on turning round numbers. Being forty is no different that being 39 or 41. but having my Wife and Daughter along with my Mom and Dad here made me appreciate what I have and how much there is to loose.

Obviously I have not posted in over a month (always a bad sign.) I am back off track (AGAIN !!) My knee has really been bothering me, and prevented me from getting much exercise (along with a healthy dose of laziness.) Going hand in hand with the lack of exercise has been bad eating habits.

I have gained most of my weight back (if not a bit extra.)

Once I get through the Holidays, I will redouble my efforts and restart my healthy lifestyle (AGAIN) . I have new work shoes and running shoes (Thank you Mom and Dad !!) so that should help my knee problem a bunch.

I hope every one has a safe and happy Holiday Season !!